The Book of Eli (2010)

THE MOVIE: The Book of Eli (2010)

MOVIE SLOGAN: Some Will Kill To Have It. He Will Kill To Protect It.

MAJOR PLAYERS:
* DENZEL WASHINGTON – Eli (You know him from badass films such as American Gangster, Déjà Vu, and The Bone Collector. There’s a plethora more of his films.)
* GARY OLDMAN – Carnegie (You know him lately as Comissioner Gordan from the latest Batman films, or as Harry Potter’s Godfather, Sirius Black, and as the Russian terrorist in “Air Force One”.)
* MILA KUNIS – Solara (You know her from “That 70’s Show” or the receptionist from “Forgetting Sarah Marshall.”)

BEST QUOTE(S): “The burned the Bible because some people thought that book caused the war.” - Eli

WHY THE GUYS WILL SEE IT: Because Denzel Washington always plays a badass, and he plays a badass with a machete.

WHY THE LADIES WILL SEE IT: Because their boyfriends dragged them to it.

MARKETED AS: A post-Apocalyptic world epic journey. (And executed as marketed.)

SYNOPSIS: In a post-Apocalyptic world, Eli (Washington) has been walking West across America for 30 years since the “Big Flash.” (which is clearly the metaphor for nuclear bomb.) He has been instructed by a voice in his head to travel West while protecting a sacred book, we know as the Bible. The destination is not really known by Eli, but felt in his heart.

During his travels, he comes a across a “town” run by a corrupt man, Carnegie (Oldman.) Ironically, Carnegie is searching for the exact book Eli carries to gain personal power. Trying to “schmooze” Eli into joining his “town”” he offers up the feminine pleasures of his girlfriend’s daughter, Solara (Kunis). While this is a “family film” with the religious theme, of course, Eli is not deterred or swayed in his mission. Eli thanks the town and Carnegie for the hospitality, but while trying to continue West, not only does Solara try to be a stowaway with Eli, but also, Carnegie discovers that Eli has the book he’s been searching for and a hot pursuit and blood bath ensues. Not that I want to be a spoiler here, but can you guess who the badass is? I’ll give you a clue, Gary Oldman isn’t much of an action hero star.

MY THOUGHTS: Well, I should probably start that I may be biased. I really can’t stand apocalypse and post-apocalyptic films. Maybe it’s because personally, if the world is ending, I would want to go with it. No one wants to live in a world of anarchy, and where you may or may not be hunted for food. Personally, wouldn’t care to become the new Red Robin Bacon Tiffany burger. But regardless, I try to keep an open mind with every film that I watch.

The movie is highly entertaining with its twist on the mission at hand. Unlike, The Road with Viggo Mortensen, (I’m about to spoil “The Road,” so if you intend on seeing “The Road,” skip ahead) where their mission was to get to the coast, and then Viggo dies. I mean, really? Yeah, it was boring, and it was BAAAAAAD. BUT The Book of Eli doesn’t have that component of you needing to check your watch every 10 minutes. Again, it has lots of action, lots of Denzel Washington kicking ass with a machete, and with a concrete goal other than just travelling.

The only issue I take with this film is that I have a hard time believing that it has taken Eli 30 years to get to Carnegie’s town. I get that it’s on foot, but I can walk 4 miles in an hour. It’s roughly 3108 miles from San Francisco to Boston, MA. If I were to walk roughly 8 hours a day at 4 miles an hour, I would get to Boston in roughly 97 days. HOW does it take Eli 30 YEARS??!

But overall, it was entertaining. The twist in the end is an eyebrow raiser. Karma wins, and Carnegie gets what he deserves which always gives me a fuzzy feeling, and the cast is very well picked. Each major player played their part very well.

THE VERDICT: Not quite the nuclear bomb, but was explosive enough. Worth seeing in the theaters, but don’t know if I’ll purchase it when it comes out on DVD.

The Blind Side (2009)

THE MOVIE: The Blind Side (2009)

MOVIE SLOGAN: Based on the Extraordinary True Story.

THE MAJOR PLAYERS:
* SANDRA BULLOCK – Leigh Anne Tuohy (You know her from “Miss Congeniality”, and most recently “The Proposal”.)
* TIM McGRAW – Sean Tuohy (You know him as the hit country singer and “Friday Night Lights”)
* QUINTON AARON – “Big Mike” Michael Oher (You know him as Q from “Be Kind Rewind”)


BEST QUOTE(S): “You should get to know your players, Burt. He tested 98% in protective instincts. I said you can thank me later…. It’s later, Burt.” --Leigh Anne Tuohy
OR
“Who would’ve thought that we'd have a black son before we knew a Democrat?” – Sean Tuohy

WHY THE GUYS WILL SEE IT: Well, there’s football in it.

WHY THE LADIES WILL SEE IT: It’s a Cinderella story. And most of us like Sandra Bullock’s acting.

MARKETED AS: A sports Rags-to-Riches story. (And actually executed as marketed.)

SYNOPSIS: This is the story of the start of Michael Oher, the All American NFL football player, who without the generosity of a wealthy family, may have never had his start. If you don’t know the story of “Big Mike” Michael Oher, it’s a real life Cinderella story. But anyone who has seen the previews should know that it’s a Cinderella story, so I’m not really giving anything away.

Michael Oher grew up in the projects of Tennessee. A private Christian high school takes a chance on Michael Oher. Of course, their pretense is that it would be un-Christian-like to not accept him, but really, you can see the athletics coach salivating and foaming at the mouth to accept Michael Oher at the school. There’s only one problem, Michael Oher’s IQ tested at 80% which puts him in the 6th percentile for intelligence. Without the grades, Michael Oher would not be eligible to play sports anyway. But meanwhile, with a science teacher taking some extra time making sure that he comprehends the material, and with the Tuohy family taking him in, giving him a roof over his head, clothes on his back, and food in his stomach, he becomes the school's best offensive left tackle. And the football field is where “Big Mike’” belongs considering he tested in the 98th percentile in protective instincts.

MY THOUGHTS: If you’re reading this, you may know by now that The Blind Side has been nominated for Picture of the Year by the Academy. To put it bluntly, there’s a reason it was nominated.

I hate to say it, but considering that the movie is all about a current football player in the NFL, this is a complete chick flick. I mean, it’s great because guys will probably drag their girlfriends, thinking that it will be all footbally, but it’s really a touching, feel good movie that the girlfriends will be able to appreciate. It left me wanting to give a huge hug to Michael Oher, who seems like the sweetest teddy bear there is. (Quinton Aaron does an amazing job, and gives a very honest performance.)

Sandra Bullock gives a surprisingly great presentation as Leigh Anne Tuohy. I’m so used to seeing her as a slapstick romantic comedy actress, so I appreciate the change of pace. Leigh Anne Tuohy seems like a complicated woman, anyway. Or so she is portrayed. She has wealth and carries herself with class, but there are times where she is pushy, and really just a big bitch. And Sandra delivers all the layers of this onion with conviction. Same goes for Tim McGraw who plays Sean Tuohy. I’m so used to seeing singers turned actors as a disaster. (Anyone remember Jessica Simpson in “Employee of the Month”?) Tim McGraw’s role wasn’t large, but he was a great supporting actor to Sandra Bullock.

Overall, the acting was great, the story is compelling and each scene where Michael Oher shows his appreciation and gratitude for clothes, food, and even a bed received leaves you willing yourself to get through the movie without grabbing for a tissue. Although, I failed. I had to grab for a tissue a few times.

THE VERDICT: This was a touchdown for me with a two point conversion. It was worth it to see in the theater, and I will definitely add this to my DVD collection.